I almost kinda sorta maybe want one of these things ‘cuz it’s cute and it might be aerodynamic…..
Exhaustion is exhausting
April 30, 2008 at 1:28 pm (A day in the life, Uncategorized)
Tags: exhaustion, sleep
It’s not possible for me to be the only person in this world who is absolutely exhausted, there’s no way. I’m just plain tired, and it seems like I can never crawl into bed at a decent hour. There’s just so much to do and so much going on that I don’t bother even thinking about sleep until it’s past the time when I could have claimed the magic 8 hours. Now, I have heard that 6 hours of sleep is acceptable, in which case, I might be okay, most days, but I believe I’m still playing catch up. You see, dear readers, I can be the queen of all procrastination sometimes, and completely on the ball other times.
Last week, I had to have a powerpoint presentation together for my amazing graduate program on Thursday, so - rather than plan ahead and work on portions throughout the week, I go balls to the wall on Wednesday night, working ’til approximately 2:30am because that’s how I roll. Needless to say, I was completely worthless Thursday, even though I had to present and train at work, and then present in class as well. Now, that’s also the overachiever in me screaming to be acknowledged. Apparently I enjoy pushing myself to a meltdown. I don’t know - I’ll save the psychoanalyzation for later. After class, I felt the need to feed 6 hungry souls with food I had prepared because, again, I just don’t know when to quit. That night I must have gotten about 7 hours of sleep. That’s pretty good, I guess.
Flash over to Saturday, what most would consider to be a good day to catch up on zzzz’s that one may have forgotten during the week. NOOOOOO, yet again, I completely ignore the fact that I have become zombie-like and a crank-monster, and I mean that in the best way possible….. My lovely women’s team was entered in a tournament about an hour south of Charlotte, first game at noon. We met up around 10, got to the park around 11, and proceeded to play/wait/play/wait/play until 4:21am. I know this because I looked at my phone just as the last game was over. Needless to say, I was not a happy girl, and we still had an hour to get home. Hitting the bed at 5:30am on Sunday morning generally means a fun night of drunken debauchery has just transpired - and I may be getting lucky, but not this time, to my chagrine. No - this lucky lady did NOT get the opportunity to sleep Sunday away, and I still, to this day, Wednesday, have not enjoyed a full 8 hours of sleep YET.
I’m starting to think it’s just not going to happen, and that causes me to think that it’s not meant to happen. I think sleep expectations are way overrated and that we, as human beings, need to admit to it. Power naps are the way to go. Heck, if we could sleep with our eyes open and fingers typing we would be GOLDEN….. Hmmmm, how can I make that one happen????
April 29, 2008 at 12:37 pm (Uncategorized)
Tags: lunch, snuggles
I swear - this makes me laugh….. cuz it’s so cute, and I LOVE to snuggle now - for some reason I have never been much of a snuggler, but heck, we all change at some point right????
My Baggage is Your Baggage
April 29, 2008 at 12:35 pm (love)
Tags: baggage, forever, love, marriage
It’s funny to me how so much from our past comes into play with all of our current and future relationships. We may have loved someone from the tip of our toes to the top of our heads and still broken up for whatever reason, and that always comes back to haunt the new relationships we experience in one form or another. We could have horrible animosity that clouds whatever we do and say, and that will destroy the newness of a friendship. To me, it’s a constant battle between my head and my heart. I’ve made my mistakes, and I’ve experienced some pretty messed up relationships, but I’m trying my best not to jump to conclusions and overthink actions and words that may have no ulterior motive or could be completely innocent. The problem here is that I am a 31 year old single woman with a child. I’ve never been married because I honestly believe that once you utter those vows and sign that paper, it is a lifelong commitment. I just haven’t found the person that fits that requirement or who believes the same thing. People will say they do and I honestly believe that they mean it at the time, but it is apparent in their actions that this is not something they seriously consider. Now, don’t get me wrong, I would not tolerate abuse in the home or indiscretion toward my children. Those are deal-breakers right there, and deserve no consideration, but in a perfect world, my soul mate would not consider such actions and would stand with me on both fronts. I would expect to discuss whatever the issue may be and work out a plan of action - TOGETHER. I would give my entire being to that individual and expect the same in return. Maybe my expectations are too high, but I refuse to settle. I know some wonderful people, and have been involved with some pretty decent ones. I’m not sure if the storybook Ever After is going to happen anytime soon, but it’s okay. I’m in no hurry, and there is no timeline. There are quite a lot of things I have yet to accomplish in this lifetime, and I am currently occupied with them. If it were to happen, I would embrace it with open arms, but at the same time, I have my own baggage to lose before I can commit myself to another human being whole-heartedly, and I would hope that their baggage is containable as well - it’s a give and take and I am willing to work.
Teenage syndrome
April 28, 2008 at 3:08 pm (A day in the life)
Tags: boys, gremlins, kids
I’m not 100% sure I’m ready for my daughter to become the American monster known as a teenager. I can see her morphing before my eyes and it becomes more and more evident that the infection is spreading. Her responses are becoming monosyllabic and her moods swing like a pendulum on a 5 second interval. The tears fall without warning, conscious thought, or purpose - however remote. Occasionally I catch a glimpse of the original child that I have encouraged to grow and learn beyond her dreams, but that is too rare to account for. She has become Spike from Gremlins, and is no longer the cute little Gizmo I have come to love. I swear I didn’t feed her after midnight or get her wet - she did this all on her own.
Enter - Boys. This is the key to the hell I am entering and I can sense it like a momma bear senses you coming near her baby cubs. And yes, I’ll claw your eyes out and rip your head off too, if you pose a threat to my little monster. But no, I don’t want this to start yet. They are sniffing around and asking her to be their girlfriend. They are giving her their bracelets and texting her on her cell phone. They are being invited to cookouts and meeting the parents. This is NOT something I want to encourage, but the dance has begun and I just need to ride it out. Luckily for me, she’s still at the stage where it’s awkward with boys. They travel in packs and sit on the other side of the room, while the gaggle of girls sit on their side of the room and whisper to each other about how cute the boys are. Ugh…. Might I just add that the 12 year old boys in this day and age look about 21 and should all be shot on sight?
I realize that I was given a girl by the grace of God and this entire experience is meant to teach me a thing or two or twenty and I have embraced this opportunity. I ask only for the patience to not commit any acts of violence with regard to my daughter or any other child. See my previous post about kids - not my favorite things in the world, but they are tolerable for the most part. I just thank God for his trust in me with this young soul and pray for the strength i will need, the tolerance I will have to show, and the patience I will call upon in order to survive these dreaded times. Oh yeah, and I will be filling up the office in my place in the near future with armor and weapons as the threats continue to multiply. All I have to say is - bring it on. I think I might be ready.
Kids at work
April 25, 2008 at 1:49 pm (Work)
Tags: distractions, kids, Work
Okay, I’ll be real with you all. Most of the time, I just don’t like other people’s children. I’m blunt about it, and I can accept my limitations.
It’s time we all stop faking the funk and accept that we may not really like our co-workers’ or ex-coworkers’ children when they decide to roll through the office. You know what I’m talking about. Everyone who’s ever worked with anyone before has seen the pictures of the offspring, nieces, nephews, grandchildren, adopted kids, cousins, neighbors of their coworkers, or some variation thereof. Really. Sometimes they’re cute. Most times they’re not. Fresh babies - I’m talking newborns - are NEVER cute. Accept it, new parents. They may be the most amazing thing on the face of this big rock we call Earth, to YOU, but to us, they are squished up, wrinkly, shedding, scaley things that just came from somewhere gross and slimy, like really, really recently.
I do NOT want to hold your baby. Ever. Sorry to disappoint you. If I want to hold a kid, I’ll go make one - I hear it’s the cool thing to do and all the trendsetters are doing it, but for now, I’ll pass. Thanks. They are also a DISRUPTION in the workplace. I know this comes as a shock to many of you, but we’re being real here, right? If you bring your child - I’m talking young children here, teens and preteens are generally a little less chaotic - into my general office area, a heavy majority of the production will come to a screaming halt. The middle aged and not so middle aged individuals who are employed here will flock to your side like you’ve got the golden ticket and are trying to get everyone into the freakin’ chocolate factory. They will squeal about how cute the kids are, how much hair they have, how funny the face they just made was (yea, we know it was gas) and how much they’ve grown since we’ve seen them last. Now, God forbid the child should be capable of walking ‘cuz you and I both know you’re going to put them down and let them run from office to office, picking up whatever the heck they want and collecting candy from the other employees who may still be actually sitting at their desk (I know you’re shocked, some of us don’t drop everything to the pitter-patter of little feet). Now, a momentary disruption is acceptable - I can’t knock it, but 20 minutes of baby talk is really about as much as a girl can take. I actually have an example - don’t pretend to be shocked, it doesn’t suit you.
Yesterday - a previous employee at this lovely facility I am excited to call my workplace took the opportunity to drop by the office with her 3 year old and her 18 month old. Granted, these were actually cute kids. BUT - they stood outside my office along with 75% of the other employees here exclaiming about how ADORABLE and SWEET the kids were for some insane amount of time not calculated. I heard more babytalk than my uber-strong stomach could take and I had to leave. As I’m leaving my office, seeking refuge from the deluge of child adulation, the 3 year old says to my coworker, “who was that?” her response, ” That’s Jennifer - Did she not say hello to you????” Insert sugar-sweet tone and honey dripping from her bottom lip here. That elicited an eye roll and the sound of the door closing as I exited the vacinity. COME ON PEOPLE. Kids are not an anomoly - they are pretty common - I bet you can see one if you go to the grocery store. Heck you could probably buy one. I won’t even get into the airplane experiences…. I’ll save that for another time.
Friday is a blessing
April 25, 2008 at 1:17 pm (A day in the life)
Tags: Friday, overachiever, School, Softball, stress, tired
I have to say - this week, Friday is the best day ever, for the simple fact that I don’t have to make a loooong drive to Durham, I have a little bit of work to keep me busy ’til quittin time - along with this lovely new blogging concept, and I have absolutely NOTHING planned for the evening. Life is good. I guess I should explain…..
As a full time graduate student, full time employee, full time, not so competitive lately-softball player, dedicated mother and gf, I’m a busy girl. This particular week was filled with drama on the softball field, presentations at work and in class, new buses for the kid - along with unwanted and unneeded cell charges, which I think comes along with having a kid, and an annual review at work, not to mention a $0.10 increase in GAS PRICES - don’t get me started. Now, I know this does not sound like a lot for the average, hardworking American woman, but I am DOG TIRED….. I kept my procrastinating butt up til 2:30am Wednesday night completing my research, and then tried my best not to completely KILL my alarm clock the next morning at 6:30 in order to be to work by 7:30. Hey - what can I say? I’m an overachiever. And for some, unknown reason, I felt the need yesterday to come home from class, after presenting for 2 hours and cook a meal for 6 people just ‘cuz it sounded like a good idea. Sorry B for falling asleep on you!!! Hey, a girl’s gotta sleep, and I can’t help that sometimes the snuggles knock me straight the eff out.
So, needless to say - I am so incredibly grateful for Friday to come and just take it easy. I was a bit perturbed this morning to discover that I’ll be playing in Gaffney (not really sure where that is just yet) this weekend in an 11 team softball tournament. I was hoping for a weekend off, maybe hit the beach with the important people, but I have to go where the team goes. I’m sure I’ll feel differently once I smell the fresh grass and dirt of the softball field. I love it, but right now I hate it. Ya feel me?
the Lunch Dance
April 22, 2008 at 3:08 pm (Friends, Work)
Tags: lunch, McAllisters, Work
It’s so funny working in an office where most people go to lunch at the same time. About every other day, an email goes out to about 10 people asking them do they want to go somewhere, and then, my favorite, the recipients hit “reply all” and everyone is stating their requirements, i.e. somewhere quick, I need a salad, can we run by the bank. Most times I don’t go because I generally take a 1/2 hour lunch or I’m dead broke, since the state pays me such an insane wage and I’ve already spent my allowance on drugs, hookers, and tattoos, but when I do go, we enjoy ourselves. I find it interesting though, that we talk about the same people or evaluate the same issues just about every time.
Something is almost always wrong with the food, whether we go to McAllister’s or McDonald’s, and there is generally questionable service. Most notable though, is one of my coworkers who is very self-deprecating. If it’s a male server, she likes to announce that they WANT her, and if it’s a female server, they want to BE her….. It makes everyone laugh and it’s a silly comment, but I wonder if she’s just not trying to put herself down, yet again. I would feel bad for her, but she’s not the slimmest person in the world and that tends to be self-inflicted, unless she has a home filled with magic that causes her eating utensils to shove food into her mouth while she sleeps. Don’t get me wrong, I suffer from the same dysfunction, but I try not to put myself down unnecessarily and I certainly don’t try to make myself the butt of the joke, and I don’t have any magic in my house, unless you count my bedroom, but I MAKE that magic happen.
Okay, so there’s my first post - after reading my daily lunch email…. I think I’ll just walk to the cafeteria and see what’s the special or order up a sub. Can’t go wrong there….. Maybe the next post will be a bit more interesting…..
