Yep, as you can see from the title - I’m at home today; not because I’m sick, but because my lovely daughter is trying to become a juvenile delinquent. She and a few other girls thought it would be okay to hit a little boy with belts because he “touched” their collective rearends. Ummm, I think 4 6th grade girls can take 1 6th grade boy - without weapons. What do you think? Well - I was given the best phone call ever on Friday when the sixth grade administrator told me she would not be coming to school on Monday.
Needless to say - her life is a living hell right now. All weekend long she was cleaning and working her cute little butt off, and did not utter one peep of complaint. That’s particularly good for her, because I’m willing to venture a bet the neighbors would have called the police and I would not be so privileged as to be sitting here typing. I’d be in a cell next to some rather ginormous chick named Bubba enjoying the gruel known as prison food. Currently, this lovely dolly, as one of my more hilarious coworkers would say, is upstairs reorganizing every closet in the house, and getting ready to iron my clean bedsheets. Yep - you all thought that was over in the ’60’s - I’m bringing it back. Extra starch. She has already scrubbed both bathrooms and the kitchen, swept both porches and the laundry room and still has a rather long list. I am here to supervise and to ensure no shortcuts are taken. Oh yeah - and I’m enjoying it. Her cell phone, house phone, TV, radio, computer, and any access to cable have been removed. She lives in the time of Laura Ingalls, only she has running water and electricity. Oh yeah, and we don’t have to actually hunt our food or gather - that happens at the Harris Teeter.
I think she’s got it easy - I’m fairly certain that I wouldn’t be around to enjoy such activities if my arse had been suspended from school for even ONE minute. I would be in an advanced stage of decomposition under some unmarked grave in Washington State, my face gracing the back of milk cartons everywhere.
I’m off to add to the list, I see a spec of dust, oh and the windows are dirty… it’s gonna be a looong day for someone.
