I am an emotional wreck
From postsecret.com
I wish I could say some things out loud. I wish I could ask the questions that NEED answers. I wish I could value my own opinion and feelings to the degree that some things are simply not an issue. I am seriously working on falling apart, and for once, it is unrelated to schoolwork. It is now directly related to my own self worth and the morals, ethics and values I’ve attached to myself personally. I am in a dilemma and I’m not figuring anything out. My stomach is a mess, which tells you lovely readers that I internalize to an extreme. I’m quite shocked that I have not experienced an ulcer at this point in my life.
I understand that I’m not giving details. If you didn’t notice, I’m doing this on purpose. I am working through something in my head and resolving how to approach it. There are so many aspects to a decision that can appear so epic in today’s light, but in a year it could be just another drop of water in the ocean of experience. The problem is that we live in the here and now. We respond to stimuli that occurs NOW, not in the future. Currently, I could easily become a puddle right here at my desk or allow myself to respond, unchecked, to a ridiculous question, releasing frustration, sadness, anger and despair on whoever that poor soul could be.
I refuse to do this. I refuse to allow my emotions to overcome any conversation or interaction I may have that is not directly related to the issue at hand. I have a brain and a sense of self control and I intend on utilizing both. I plan on approaching this with a higher degree of intelligence than emotion because I cannot completely remove that part of myself. My heart is heavy with the weight of decision and I have to admit that it hurts more than a little. I hate that I’ve become such a mess and I don’t have a solution just yet.
It will work out. I know it will. It always does, in one way or another.
Responsible Journalism – Questions……
Okay – so I was perusing the amusing photos and captions over at PunditKitchen.com and I came across this cover from the New Yorker that’s been causing all the stir. I feel the need to chime in, so bear with me.
I understand the concept of satire. I understand that generally, the media takes every opportunity to pick apart potential political candidates. I get that. My issue here is why go to such a degree? It has been said that the New Yorker artist responsible for this cover was trying to draw attention to the common misconceptions Americans have drawn with regard to Obama’s political and religious beliefs. Also, that they wanted to express issues that have been explored with regard to his wife as well. I get that too.
Here’s my issue: Why, as a responsible periodical, albeit a satirical comedic periodical, attempt to enflame a country that’s already divided beyond historical proportions? Should they not be examining these issues singularly, in an intelligent format, rather than bulking all the stereotypes of the Obamas in a single cover, that ignorant individuals who never even READ this document will take as a form of agreement? That’s my issue – take it for what it is – an opinion, but feel free to give yours as well. It’s STILL a free country.
The ocean’s mystical powers of seduction
What is it about the ocean or large bodies of water that have their own currents that draw us, as human beings, to spend large amounts of time indulging in them – either swimming, participating in water sports, or just pondering life’s greatest mysteries while gazing at their liquid wonder? I have to ask this question because I have ALWAYS been drawn to the water. I love it. It has become one with my soul and something is just NOT right when I go prolonged periods of time without being near it and breathing in the ocean air.
This past weekend, the crew took a trip to Virginia Beach, and we really only had a good 4 hours or so to dig our collective toes into the sand and do the dance with ocean waves. Now, we did do some awesome body boarding as well, but in general, we crammed as much quality time between our selves and the salty loveliness that is the Atlantic Ocean as possible. I miss it horribly. It was every grain of sand of loveliness you could possibly imagine. Yeah – there were hoards of tourists and random international people running around in their street clothes, soaking wet, because, quite possibly, it didn’t occur to them to bring shorts or an actual swim suit to the ocean in order to partake in a luscious, salt-filled dip, but that’s just my take on things. I didn’t really mind the 3 year old Afghanistan boy running around in his boxer briefs, soaking wet and getting all saggy butt in public. Hey – to each his own. I was just enjoying writing my name in the sand and taking random snapshots of my victims – and by that I mean family and friends.
I just had to wonder at the powers of the sea. Why are we so fascinated with it’s workings and why don’t we mind getting all nasty, filthy in order to play in its bounties of fun? Do we not think of fish and other creatures that exist in that environment, and by exist, I reference the act of purging little fish bodies of its food and creating new little fish lives and all the bodily functions involved in that. We swim with this stuff – gross – but we still love it. It feels wonderful and it’s relaxing and it is a glorious experience for all…. Enjoy the water while we still have it clean and unpolluted – to a degree.
Virginia Beach – weekend/vacation
I’m SO ready for this weekend to hurry up and get here, and for me, that will happen in T minus 88 minutes. The countdown has begun and my toes are itching for some surf, sun and sand. I haven’t hit the water since I’ve been in this state, and I have to say that, IT’s TIME!
I’m from Western Washington State, home of the ocean in the sky. It rains there 9 months out of the year, we live right next to the water, meaning the Puget Sound, and a hop, skip and a jump from the good ole Pacific Ocean. Can’t go wrong, water everywhere and greenery abounds….. NC is great, I like it, the thunder/lightning storms are cool, but we’re going through an extended DROUGHT – not my forte. I’m not used to a lack of water or water restrictions. That’s just abnormal in my world. I’m not used to driving an hour to the “lake” which is an accumulation of a river, or 3 to 4 hours to the “beach” which is not called the ocean on this part of the country…lol. It’s okay – cultural differences, I get it.
These last few weeks have been crazy hectic at work, my good bud got to go surf and sand it up and I felt the pangs of jealousy eating out my insides. I’m so incredibly ready for this – physically and mentally. Let’s go already. Only 79 more minutes at work and then the movement begins. Drive to the house, grab the kid and clothes, meet up with co-vacationers, and make the drive. That will be the worst of it, but we will survive. Hotel has been reserved and fun is waiting to be had. Ahhhhh, happy Friday to you all – gotta bust arse some more around these parts. Ciao!
