Happy Freaking New Year

Just to reiterate the title – This January has been one of the more difficult months I have endured in the last 10 years.  Lots of changes have happened throughout that time span, but for some reason, this one has just been HARD.

How is your new year starting off?  Have you had a wonderful 1st few weeks of resolution?  Have you laid off the fat intake, cigarettes, television?  Have you started exercising, smiling more, reading more?

I haven’t had the peace of mind to start anything, or even continue anything at this point.  I am rebounding from a recent identity theft, enduring NSF fees, late fees, unsympathetic people.  Everyone knows about identity theft, but when it actually happens to you, it just really sucks.  I’ve been slowly but steadily clearing up the late bills, keeping the power and cable on, and staving off eviction notices. 

Luckily, most of those things have been taken care of.  In the meantime, my fiance and I have been struggling with his pay since he had to go 3 weeks without a check.  That doesn’t make it any easier when one of my paychecks is 100% devoted to our rent.  Food?  What’s that?  Car note?  What’s that?  The insurance is paid, but does that matter when the vehicle gets reposessed?

Frustrating.  That’s the word of the month.  Rent is paid, car is paid, we are all healthy, and the kid has money on her account so she can eat lunch.  Beside that, we have $9.00 to our collective names.  We have some frozen chicken that will get us through the next week, we have rice and some potatoes.

What happens when things fall apart everywhere else in life?  Your relationship will take it on.  The depression and frustration is evident in all of your interactions.  The laughter disappears and lethargy sets in.  You don’t want to talk, you don’t want to cuddle, you don’t want to even look at the other person.  At some point, an arguement, a fight, or a hurtful discussion will ensue, leaving hurt feelings and a re-evaluation of the relationship in its wake.

We are extremely fortunate.  Things could be so much worse, yet we are okay.  We had a couple of “talks”.  We are stronger for our adversity.  We are resolute in working it out.  We’re not perfect and neither is our world.  We have been able to smile and cuddle and have frank discussions recently.  We are breathing a little easier.  Hopefully the rest of the year will have a more positive spin, since we’ve gotten the hard stuff out of the way.

Have a great 2011.  Be considerate and kind, no matter what you’re facing.  This, too, shall pass.

What's on your checklist for 2011

It’s a new year!  2011….  Wow.  There are so many things that are supposed to happen this coming year.  We have so many expectations.  Then we look back at last year and take stock.  Did I lose that weight?  Did I quit smoking?  Did I find the relationship of my dreams?  We allow ourselves 12 months in which to accomplish a lifetime worth of happiness and health.  It can be depressing – for some, even debilitating.  Why do we set ourselves up like that??

I make it a point not to make a New Year’s Resolution.  In all honesty, I never do.  I hate to let myself down.  However, I’ve recently been told of a cute way of going around an actual committed goal, “resolution”, for the new year (or whatever designated time frame you want to use).  A Twitter friend (follow me @justmejenn) decided on one word for the new year.  I like that.  It’s inspiring and important to only you. 

• “Health”  could mean losing weight, quitting smoking, taking your blood pressure pills, or jut taking a walk around the block daily. 
• “Love” could be internal love for self, love for children, significant other, or love for a stranger – just showing general kindness. 
• “Religion” could be renewing your faith in a higher being, being more strict with your own personal beliefs, or conveying the word to others.

I’m in love with this concept and I’m glad to pass it on.  What words could you use for your new year?  What is your interpretation?  Whatever you decide to work on, IF you decide to work on something, do it because you WANT to or because you feel you NEED to – not because you HAVE to or feel pressured to do so.  Personal accomplishments feel so much better when achieved.

I think this is a theme for my life right now....

But I wasn’t.  I love the idea of knowing someone for 30,40,50 years.  I envy those old folks who have made it through EVERYTHING to still be together, with a mature, respectable love and countless memories.  I want to have these memories.  I want to have this knowledge.

This last week has opened this opportunity up to me and I embrace it.  My boyfriend of 2 years has asked me to marry him and I have accepted.  It was a very low-key proposal, which fits my personality.  It was an earnest discussion about whether or not we were going to do it.  And the decision was made.  Phone calls happened.  Text messages and FaceBook updates were sent out.  The world is now aware of our plans.  We have committed.  We are planning.

I am excited.  I am scared.  My mind is whirling.  There are so many things to remember and so many people not to forget.  He has done this before.  I’m a newby – without a clue of what needs to happen.  I’ve started with this planning process.  I’m reading the magazines.  I’m listening to my friends and co-workers.  Everyone has ideas and everyone knows everything.  Now you see why my head is spinning????

This is going to be an insane 12 months.  We’re already less than 12 months, 360-something days.  I’d like to just skip the whirlwind and begin the part that includes spending the rest of my life with this wonderful man, fully committed and loving him.  I’ll keep you in the loop.  Wish me luck…..

He's absolutely wonderful and a better man than I have ever known...

This place can be incredibly frustrating.  There are many different personalities and many different control issues being whipped around these hallways, the ongoing theme being that some people just don’t work.  You can see this phenomena in any workplace in any city in any country in the world.  It’s nothing new.  It’s just that there is very little responsibility floating around with the issues.   The blame is passed and problems are swept under the rug.  Thus the frustration.

When you have a job, with a job description, the expectation of your co-workers is that you DO that job.  I know, it can be a bit confusing, but seriously, that is the general expectation – not only of your coworkers, but also of the management staff, and hopefully, ultimately, the boss.  Just sayin’.

People – you need to do your shit.  For real.  There are FAR too many unemployed people in this economy for idiots like you to just be perusing the internet and looking for clothing and shoe deals online when there is actual work to be done.  I’m just letting you know – that nagging little voice in the back of your head is your conscience.  You should really tryand listen to it.

There are individuals who are employed here who actually enjoy their jobs.  They like doing what they do and they like the “customers”.  That is a wonderful thing.  It’s really just too bad that they aren’t encouraged to continue to do so. 

Update – my zucchini was really cucumber.  Who’d have thought??  LOL – but it was amazing, for months!  We had lots of cucumbers and I was so very happy that something edible was actually produced from my little garden.  There are still heads of cabbage that are growing but I’ve lost faith in their ever actually being edible, and the lone green pepper plant has begun to produce mini-green peppers.  We’ll see if they ever come to actual fruition.  Beyond that, my little garden experiment did not produce much else.  Overall, a success, with many little failures.  Next year should be better. 

The kid started high school this year.  Yes.  I said it.  High School.  I cannot begin to get ready for this.  I’ve already been at the school 5 times between orientation, parent night, welcome back, and freshman conferences….  It’s sickening that I am so aware of her schooling.  Heck – my parents couldn’t even find my school if they had to, and my mother went there!

Work is work.  It is what it is.  Can’t really expect anything different, right?

School is nearing its end for me – just need to complete one Incomplete class I got last year, pump another 3 thesis hours out and complete my research.  For doing just this, I will be a proud owner of a Masters Degree, hopefully by May, but possibly next December – depending on the length of the research.

So – in a nutshell, life is still good, not a lot has changed, just the same old stuff.  Oh yeah – and trying to LOSE SOME POUNDS!!!  hehe….

This is NOT my garden – I’m a little jealous….

I am so excited to tell you all that I actually planted a garden this year.  I have yet to determine if there is anything viable growing out there, but I took the time to nurse the seedlings and plant them out in this big old world, to feed and water my little plants, and to weed occasionally….. 

What plants?  You ask….  I put some tomatoes, green peppers, red onions, cabbage, zucchini, and strawberries in the dirt.  So far, all I see is leaves.  I am thinking that all I’ll see are zucchinis though.  Why?  You ask…  Because there is a critter out there who is eating my strawberry flowers and green berries right off the plants.  Because my tomato plants have withered to the point where they are limper than my overcooked spaghetti noodles.  Because I can only see the green of one of the green pepper plants and it’s not looking like it’s thriving at all.  Because my onions look like grass, and I don’t mean the fun kind.  Because my cabbage leaves have holes in them, implying some unseen bug is pillaging my harvest when I’m not looking.

Suffice it to say that my green thumb is maybe a light green, brownish color.  I’m not proud to admit it, but I didn’t buy any good dirt and I am not used to the clay that is natural in this corner of the country, so I wasn’t too optimistic when I began my little experiment.  Nonetheless, it’s a rewarding experience that anything is growing at all.  Heck, the plants are helping to replenish the oxygen in the air, so I’ve done some good, somewhere.

Oh well – but I love zucchini and those little buds don’t seem to get eaten by the critters out back, so hopefully I’ll have one someday.  I’ll have to post up some pics.  Anyone got any good recipes???

HAHAHA…. This made me giggle….

Why is this so true??????