May 22, 2008 at 10:40 am (love)
Tags: forever, life, love, personality, temperament
For Realz…. I think I can, I think I can, I think I can….
Okay, so I do have a question for all of you wonderful folks who have wandered upon my mind-dump of a blog.
Do you believe in Forever? By that, I mean with another individual - marriage - standing by that person - for the rest of your life. Seriously.
I ask this question because I’ve been pondering whether or not I could commit to someone for ever. I tell myself that I could do this, and I believe that, but on another level, I have to make caviats. To be honest, I have my deal breakers - physical violence has no place in my life and child abuse/molestation is reprehensible so there is no way I could continue to spend my life with an individual who is capable of performing such acts.
Now, that being said, I’d like to think I would know the individual well enough to say, Okay - he would never do such a thing, but who can say what someone will or will not do? Honestly - Hmmm??? The truth is, there is a certain pre-programming to the brain that occurs as a child that can dictate temperament later in life. If you are a volatile teenager, you will most likely be a volatile adult, and the same goes for even-tempered individuals.
For me, it would be just plain boring to attach myself to someone who was even-keeled all the damn time. Life gives us ups and downs on purpose. God’s plan teaches us throughout our lives and creates obstacles for us to overcome. That would support the concept of change, but the personality does not. We learn, we grow, and we adjust, but our initial wiring stays the same.
I have to say that, yes, given the right person, and getting to know them enough, I could do it - but they would have to be my partner in this evolving life, as much as I would be theirs. Thoughts?
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April 29, 2008 at 12:35 pm (love)
Tags: baggage, forever, love, marriage
It’s funny to me how so much from our past comes into play with all of our current and future relationships. We may have loved someone from the tip of our toes to the top of our heads and still broken up for whatever reason, and that always comes back to haunt the new relationships we experience in one form or another. We could have horrible animosity that clouds whatever we do and say, and that will destroy the newness of a friendship. To me, it’s a constant battle between my head and my heart. I’ve made my mistakes, and I’ve experienced some pretty messed up relationships, but I’m trying my best not to jump to conclusions and overthink actions and words that may have no ulterior motive or could be completely innocent. The problem here is that I am a 31 year old single woman with a child. I’ve never been married because I honestly believe that once you utter those vows and sign that paper, it is a lifelong commitment. I just haven’t found the person that fits that requirement or who believes the same thing. People will say they do and I honestly believe that they mean it at the time, but it is apparent in their actions that this is not something they seriously consider. Now, don’t get me wrong, I would not tolerate abuse in the home or indiscretion toward my children. Those are deal-breakers right there, and deserve no consideration, but in a perfect world, my soul mate would not consider such actions and would stand with me on both fronts. I would expect to discuss whatever the issue may be and work out a plan of action - TOGETHER. I would give my entire being to that individual and expect the same in return. Maybe my expectations are too high, but I refuse to settle. I know some wonderful people, and have been involved with some pretty decent ones. I’m not sure if the storybook Ever After is going to happen anytime soon, but it’s okay. I’m in no hurry, and there is no timeline. There are quite a lot of things I have yet to accomplish in this lifetime, and I am currently occupied with them. If it were to happen, I would embrace it with open arms, but at the same time, I have my own baggage to lose before I can commit myself to another human being whole-heartedly, and I would hope that their baggage is containable as well - it’s a give and take and I am willing to work.
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