I’m not 100% sure I’m ready for my daughter to become the American monster known as a teenager. I can see her morphing before my eyes and it becomes more and more evident that the infection is spreading. Her responses are becoming monosyllabic and her moods swing like a pendulum on a 5 second interval. The tears fall without warning, conscious thought, or purpose - however remote. Occasionally I catch a glimpse of the original child that I have encouraged to grow and learn beyond her dreams, but that is too rare to account for. She has become Spike from Gremlins, and is no longer the cute little Gizmo I have come to love. I swear I didn’t feed her after midnight or get her wet - she did this all on her own.
Enter - Boys. This is the key to the hell I am entering and I can sense it like a momma bear senses you coming near her baby cubs. And yes, I’ll claw your eyes out and rip your head off too, if you pose a threat to my little monster. But no, I don’t want this to start yet. They are sniffing around and asking her to be their girlfriend. They are giving her their bracelets and texting her on her cell phone. They are being invited to cookouts and meeting the parents. This is NOT something I want to encourage, but the dance has begun and I just need to ride it out. Luckily for me, she’s still at the stage where it’s awkward with boys. They travel in packs and sit on the other side of the room, while the gaggle of girls sit on their side of the room and whisper to each other about how cute the boys are. Ugh…. Might I just add that the 12 year old boys in this day and age look about 21 and should all be shot on sight?
I realize that I was given a girl by the grace of God and this entire experience is meant to teach me a thing or two or twenty and I have embraced this opportunity. I ask only for the patience to not commit any acts of violence with regard to my daughter or any other child. See my previous post about kids - not my favorite things in the world, but they are tolerable for the most part. I just thank God for his trust in me with this young soul and pray for the strength i will need, the tolerance I will have to show, and the patience I will call upon in order to survive these dreaded times. Oh yeah, and I will be filling up the office in my place in the near future with armor and weapons as the threats continue to multiply. All I have to say is - bring it on. I think I might be ready.
