All Things Naughty and Nice
By demand – my party review…
Saturday night was an eventful night in my household. The long-awaited Pure Romance party was slated to happen. Now, to bring you up to speed, I don’t like people. I don’t like entertaining. I don’t like cleaning. I don’t like feeling obligated to anyone or anything. That being said, I agreed to host my buddy’s 1st ever consulting gig for her line of adult products, Pure Romance. You can check her out over at http://ashleighmchenry.wordpress.com. She’s hilarious and has some seriously ground-breaking things to say. Not only that, but she’s quite the salesperson. She was able to speak to a crowd who spanned approximately 40 years in age, but still keep it clear, concise, and consistent with Pure Romance’s reputation of being educative, informative, and interesting without being raunchy. Now, a little raunch is lovely here and there, but overall, I prefer to know as much as I can about the products I’m considering placing in or near my nether-regions, as a general rule. I’d hate to be that chick in the emergency room, trying to explain why I can’t remove something from my secret place….ugh.
So, the plan was to kick off the craziness around about seven o’clock that night, but it got a bit delayed due to some folks showing up a bit more than fashionably late, but that was okay, too. Heck, it was Saturday and who gives a crap about a schedule when you’re not getting paid for it. Sorry Ash – you were, but we weren’t…. unless we were getting paid in favors. I’m getting ahead of myself….
The fluff of the demonstrations began around 8 o’clock with some light, scented and flavored powders, sprays, lubricants, prolonging lotions, etcetera…. There was an ice breaker, lots of laughs, and some products being placed on our hands, lips, and potentially nips, though nobody was quite daring enough. Not enough wine was consumed for that. We munched our way through discussions of male and female stimulation creams and got some red faces over an explanation of the “little man in the boat”.
About 9 o’clock, it was time for intermission. The big guns were coming out, and I’m not talking uzis and tommy guns. One of my coworkers saw this as an ideal time to race out with her morals in tact, making a purchase on the way. The rest of us were in for the loooong haul, and it was quite the haul. We were introduced to BOB, BILL, Daddy from the Nati, Thumbs Up, and various other lovely mechanisms designed to please a woman in every way possible. We covered vibrators, dildoes, bullets, c-rings, anal plugs, really all the fun factory can produce for human sexuality, while not being raunchy. How does that happen without being raunchy??? Just hit up Ash – she’ll explain it all to you.
We had a blast. It was too bad all the lovely ladies couldn’t make it, but for those who did, let me just say that the Daddy deserves his name. WOW….. I’ll be keeping that one close by….hehehehe….. Next time, I may just go for BOB or BILL…. My only complaint was that I didn’t have any batteries in the house. Darn it.
Book her – she’s professional, knowledgeable, and genuine. She knows her product and doesn’t come in like a hooker with a chip on her shoulder. Ashleigh can describe the female sexual zones with about 500 synonyms, and the male counterpart in at least one hundred. She’s still growing her vocabulary, but she’s sure to enlighten you to a few new uses for some of these items (keeping rug burn away),and maybe remind you of a few older ones you forgot about.
That being said, faithful readers, if you’re a woman, you need to host a Pure Romance party, even if you’re like me and just don’t like people. I had fun, didn’t make too much of a mess, so cleaning wasn’t too bad, and I got some snazzy products out of it. Men, get your woman to have one – there’s fun stuff in it for you too… I promise. 
My heart in a song
This song resonates with me in so many ways. It is a theme that applies throughout my every day life. I try to say what I feel and share my emotions with people. I need to let them know how important they are in my life and how much they mean to me. I don’t always do a spectacular job of that, if you’ve read my previous blogs, you’d see that. I’m always on a path to figure myself out and why I do certain things, but this song strikes a chord in me that reverberates throughout my entire being….. Enjoy.
“Tell You Something (Nana’s Reprise)” – Alicia Keys
Get so caught up everyday, Tryna keep it all together, While the time it slips away
You see I know nothing last forever, Imagine there was no tomorrow, Imagine that I couldn’t see your face
There would be no limit to my sorrow, So all I can say
[Chorus:] I wanna tell you something, give you something Show you in so many ways ’cause it would all mean nothing if I don’t say something before it all goes away Don’t wanna wait to bring you flowers, waste another hour let alone another day I’m gonna tell you something, show you something, won’t wait till it’s too late [2x] (I can’t wait, I can’t wait, I won’t wait, I don’t wanna wait)
Just a simple conversation, Just a moment is all it takes, I wanna be there just to listen (I wanna be here), And I don’t wanna hesitate
Imagine there was no tomorrow, Imagine that I couldn’t see your face, There would be no limit to my sorrow ’cause there’s nothing that could fill that space, I don’t wanna put it off for too long, I didn’t say all that I had to say, I wanna take my time and right the wrong before we get to that place
[Chorus] Just lean on my shoulder, It’s not over till it’s over Don’t worry about it cause I’m gonna make sure our bond gets stronger
I don’t wanna wait till the storm and something wrong and now you’re gone and I can’t find you [Chorus x2] [x4]
I can’t wait, I can’t wait, I won’t wait, I don’t wanna wait
Hmmmm – Decisions & Timing
I think it’s so incredible how everything in this world goes around and comes back around. I’ve alluded a few times to a breakup I’ve recently experienced and the resulting heartbreak. You’ve read/felt that in previous blogs or on my myspace if you’re an avid follower or friend. You may even have first hand knowledge of the resulting depression and insecurity or randomness that followed.
In a nutshell – I did some things that weren’t good, he did some things that weren’t good – he cut me out of his life. It was very blunt and painful. We were very much in love and every day of our lives revolved around each other. I have not experienced such pain – regardless of the ways other relationships ended. It was brutal. It’s been about 3 months and I’ve survived. I’ve begun feeling more like ME again and started to date again. This last week, he decides to tell me again how much he loves me and how he is ready to work on us being together again. As much as my heart would LOVE to go back to what we initally had, that is impossible. There has been such pain that I cannot entertain the idea. The break has to be clean and we have to move on. That was the decision and that’s where we stand. It’s just amazing that now, at Christmas and New Years, is when he decides this. I can’t even begin to entertain the concept. So much of my loss in my life resonates at this time of the year, that I couldn’t give such a thing the time of day.
I’ve recently started talking to a new beau and we have great conversations and enjoy each other. I am so, incredibly guarded with him though. My heart still remembers the recent scars and doesn’t want to even venture there again. These new conversations are making them pulse and I am so afraid. I like it, I don’t, I like it, I don’t… UGH….. I thought being a teenager was DONE a long time ago….
Music in the Key of Love
I am seriously in love with music. Sometimes it tears my heart out and other times it is empowering or even angry. It definitely fuels my emotions and helps me to get through the worst and the best that life has to offer.
My iPod is full of all types of music and varying genres from Alternative Rock to Pop to R&B to Metal. I’m an eclectic girl and I enjoy each one at different times. I am currently in a sad, slow mood and have been listening to heartwrenching ballads and slow, melodic odes to lost love and love unrequited.
It’s amazing to me how a song can come on that fits today’s scenario EXACTLY…. for instance – Sexy Back by Justin Timberlake just came up on my www.pandora.com playlist. HOW did they know that I am trying to bring the sexy back into my workplace??? Do they have cameras around my desk? Are there spies amongst my coworkers who have reported my sexy activities? It is amazing – beyond amazing – I am befuddled. Egads, as Ms. Pash would say…..
Lonely… Or not??….
I find it incredibly interesting how Christmas makes us want to have a 2nd half, a soul mate, a significant other, a life partner. It seems like everyone around you is searching for that perfect gift that will put a smile on his/her face and reward the giver with that sense of fulfillment that one only receives when giving such gifts to such people. That, and gratitude sex – I hear it’s amazing.
I have a dilemma in this department. For the last few years I have not been in a strong enough relationship during the holiday season that would require such a gift or such fulfillment. Thus, I am left feeling unfulfilled and lacking. I observe the interactions and excitement of those around me like a Martian stepping on Earth for the first time and feel oddly disconnected. Now, don’t get me wrong – I do enjoy giving gifts and do so for my friends and family, but I haven’t had a solid bf/mate/hubby during this time going on 4 years. It makes for awkward conversations and leaves me out in the cold while those around me discuss the “perfect” gift for their better halves.
I don’t know that I’m ready to remedy this problem just yet – I am still pretty shaken from my last relationship debacle and still feel the sting from the invisible wounds that were inflicted. As per my previous posts – I am emotionally stunted at birth and have begun working on my own personal capabilities. This doesn’t stop me from craving the wholeness that is a strong relationship, or even just that one special someone who can cuddle me just right and smell yummy in the bed. I have that craving- big time – but I also realize that I have to be patient, and choose the person who suits me just right…. I can’t go through life being 75% either – I want 100% or no deal. It’s a dangerous road, full of potholes and assholes. Fun times.
Communication Failure on my Part
Let me explain, just a little bit:
I have a HUGE problem with conflict – emotional conflict with the ones I love. To explain a little bit more: I can yell at my daughter, discipline her, discuss issues with her, and attempt to train her to be a good person. When it comes to MEN – I have a VERY VERY hard time doing these things. Why is that? I can talk about anything with anyone until it gets remotely emotional or important. Once my feelings are involved, I clam up. If I don’t completely quit speaking to the individual involved, i.e. ignore phone calls, text messages, emails, then I will just listen to what they have to say and not offer anything to the conversation.
Situation: You like someone and think they’re great. you tell them that. I do not. I have to beat around the bush, blush, shuffle my feet, chase them around the playground, and throw rocks at them until they realize how much they are in love with ME…..
This is a problem. This needs a resolution. I am aware of this. I understand that my emotional insecurity is incapable of acknowledging a feeling to another human being (that I’m unrelated to). I also understand that, at some point, I have to take the risk and make the feelings known to that individual. It sucks. I hate it.
Situation: You and a boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/wife get in an argument. You say things that are not necessarily nice and could be hurtful. You both talk it out, apologize, and the world is all good again. I get irritated and say nothing. They have NO idea they have just pissed me off, or worse, done the unforgivable and have just given their relationship a 2-day or 2-week notice. Not a clue – I will, then, begin withdrawing or start making comments and begin removing myself from the situation. The phone calls, emails, texts will stop coming, or become irregular, and they will be unaware until it’s been weeks and they say – “what happened?”
This, too, is a problem and requires a resolution. The first step, for me, is to understand it and take the steps to change it. I have begun that process, but it is a challenge. I don’t want to hurt people’s feelings – I tend to put myself in their shoes. I’m a work in progress, but I’m not completely broken…. Stick with me – it’s a wild ride….
And the Decision is………………… a Boxer Puppy!!!
I’m a sucker. For all things cute and lovable. I had to give in to my daughter’s desire to have another small animal introduced to our lives.
The sweetest little boy ever
Here is the little boy – his name is Zipper and he’s approximately 12 weeks old – born on 08/08/08 – how cool is that??!!?? His momma is absolutely beautiful, with almost the exact same coloring as he has. Note the white line up his face – the kid thought that resembled a zipper mark, thus his name. He is already responding to it, and has begun playing fetch. He’s having a blast chasing the cats and learning how to navigate the stairs. He had a rough first couple of nights in the crate, but last night was blissfully quiet and we all got a good night’s sleep. He doesn’t much care for the rain and refused to go #1 or #2 last night, but was a good boy and held it ’til this morning.
So far, so good – his personality is fun and he seems to be pretty smart, though a bit clumsy. He should grow to be a good-sized animal, and we can’t wait for him to run and play with the big dogs.
He is already taking his place in the household, and is quite the baby – likes to whimper from time to time, but we can live with that. It’s sort of his way of communicating. He will even whine at his ball while he’s chewing on it. A strange habit, but it’s endearing.
If at all possible, I would recommend everyone get a pet. If you can adopt, I strongly recommend it – there are so many wonderful animals at the Humane Society who need good homes – we looked and looked but didn’t see what we were looking for. We found a very loving breeder who considers her animals family – they were all well-cared for and beautiful animals. You can tell a lot about people by the company they keep, and these animals loved her without limits. That’s the beauty of pets – they are nonjudgmental and will love you for life…..
Debate: To Dog or Not to Dog – That is the Question
All kinds of doggies, hmmmmm, what to do, what to do????
My lovely, demon-child, who rarely does her own chores when she is supposed to, not to mention when she is asked to multiple times, has requested to make an addition to our little family, in the form of a dog.
I am not entirely against this addition as I have been a bit lonely of late, and I really love dogs. Traditionally, I am a big dog kinda girl, where my daughter wants a cute, smaller dog that she won’t have to worry about actually running a mile every morning and trying to keep in some sort of shape.
I haven’t decided yet. Mainly because I know I will be saddled with the poor creature and I will care for it, feed it, walk it, scoop its poop, and have to remember to come home and take care of it. That’s my downfall – I tend to forget things like that. I have two 3 year old cats who are fixed, fat, indoor boys that I don’t have to worry too terribly much about. They have a self-feeder and a big water bowl that stays full. All I have to do is vacuum and lint brush my clothes from time to time – oh, and remind the kid to clean the cat box. In return I get all the cuddling, kneading, and lovin’ they feel like bestowing upon me, in cat fashion. I’m good with that, but the idea of a drooly, barky, needy, best friend-type dog is pretty enticing.
So begins the debate. I’ll have to make some considerations over the weekend. Keep me in your thoughts, and feel free to give any suggestions or comments that may help with the decision-making.
New Blog for you Fatties…..
Check it out – I’m trying to lose, and so are others – it’s gonna be good, and accountability is the key…..
http://audacityoffat.wordpress.com
Do what you do…..
