Food? or Sex? BOTH!!!
Where, exactly, do we draw the line? I mean really – if we are to consume calories into our body in order to make it function and allow for physical activity, it doesn’t have to happen at the SAME TIME!!! I, for one, am not interested in adding any exotic flavors into particular items of use during my “fun time”. I don’t mind the standard, passion berry, strawberry, tropical, coconut, etcetera…. (the more normative flavors) But THIS is a joke……
Just gross – YUCK – and I don’t eat pork.
All Things Naughty and Nice
By demand – my party review…
Saturday night was an eventful night in my household. The long-awaited Pure Romance party was slated to happen. Now, to bring you up to speed, I don’t like people. I don’t like entertaining. I don’t like cleaning. I don’t like feeling obligated to anyone or anything. That being said, I agreed to host my buddy’s 1st ever consulting gig for her line of adult products, Pure Romance. You can check her out over at http://ashleighmchenry.wordpress.com. She’s hilarious and has some seriously ground-breaking things to say. Not only that, but she’s quite the salesperson. She was able to speak to a crowd who spanned approximately 40 years in age, but still keep it clear, concise, and consistent with Pure Romance’s reputation of being educative, informative, and interesting without being raunchy. Now, a little raunch is lovely here and there, but overall, I prefer to know as much as I can about the products I’m considering placing in or near my nether-regions, as a general rule. I’d hate to be that chick in the emergency room, trying to explain why I can’t remove something from my secret place….ugh.
So, the plan was to kick off the craziness around about seven o’clock that night, but it got a bit delayed due to some folks showing up a bit more than fashionably late, but that was okay, too. Heck, it was Saturday and who gives a crap about a schedule when you’re not getting paid for it. Sorry Ash – you were, but we weren’t…. unless we were getting paid in favors. I’m getting ahead of myself….
The fluff of the demonstrations began around 8 o’clock with some light, scented and flavored powders, sprays, lubricants, prolonging lotions, etcetera…. There was an ice breaker, lots of laughs, and some products being placed on our hands, lips, and potentially nips, though nobody was quite daring enough. Not enough wine was consumed for that. We munched our way through discussions of male and female stimulation creams and got some red faces over an explanation of the “little man in the boat”.
About 9 o’clock, it was time for intermission. The big guns were coming out, and I’m not talking uzis and tommy guns. One of my coworkers saw this as an ideal time to race out with her morals in tact, making a purchase on the way. The rest of us were in for the loooong haul, and it was quite the haul. We were introduced to BOB, BILL, Daddy from the Nati, Thumbs Up, and various other lovely mechanisms designed to please a woman in every way possible. We covered vibrators, dildoes, bullets, c-rings, anal plugs, really all the fun factory can produce for human sexuality, while not being raunchy. How does that happen without being raunchy??? Just hit up Ash – she’ll explain it all to you.
We had a blast. It was too bad all the lovely ladies couldn’t make it, but for those who did, let me just say that the Daddy deserves his name. WOW….. I’ll be keeping that one close by….hehehehe….. Next time, I may just go for BOB or BILL…. My only complaint was that I didn’t have any batteries in the house. Darn it.
Book her – she’s professional, knowledgeable, and genuine. She knows her product and doesn’t come in like a hooker with a chip on her shoulder. Ashleigh can describe the female sexual zones with about 500 synonyms, and the male counterpart in at least one hundred. She’s still growing her vocabulary, but she’s sure to enlighten you to a few new uses for some of these items (keeping rug burn away),and maybe remind you of a few older ones you forgot about.
That being said, faithful readers, if you’re a woman, you need to host a Pure Romance party, even if you’re like me and just don’t like people. I had fun, didn’t make too much of a mess, so cleaning wasn’t too bad, and I got some snazzy products out of it. Men, get your woman to have one – there’s fun stuff in it for you too… I promise. 
Lonely… Or not??….
I find it incredibly interesting how Christmas makes us want to have a 2nd half, a soul mate, a significant other, a life partner. It seems like everyone around you is searching for that perfect gift that will put a smile on his/her face and reward the giver with that sense of fulfillment that one only receives when giving such gifts to such people. That, and gratitude sex – I hear it’s amazing.
I have a dilemma in this department. For the last few years I have not been in a strong enough relationship during the holiday season that would require such a gift or such fulfillment. Thus, I am left feeling unfulfilled and lacking. I observe the interactions and excitement of those around me like a Martian stepping on Earth for the first time and feel oddly disconnected. Now, don’t get me wrong – I do enjoy giving gifts and do so for my friends and family, but I haven’t had a solid bf/mate/hubby during this time going on 4 years. It makes for awkward conversations and leaves me out in the cold while those around me discuss the “perfect” gift for their better halves.
I don’t know that I’m ready to remedy this problem just yet – I am still pretty shaken from my last relationship debacle and still feel the sting from the invisible wounds that were inflicted. As per my previous posts – I am emotionally stunted at birth and have begun working on my own personal capabilities. This doesn’t stop me from craving the wholeness that is a strong relationship, or even just that one special someone who can cuddle me just right and smell yummy in the bed. I have that craving- big time – but I also realize that I have to be patient, and choose the person who suits me just right…. I can’t go through life being 75% either – I want 100% or no deal. It’s a dangerous road, full of potholes and assholes. Fun times.
New Blog for you Fatties…..
Check it out – I’m trying to lose, and so are others – it’s gonna be good, and accountability is the key…..
http://audacityoffat.wordpress.com
Do what you do…..
Sex, Sex, Sex – I guess
Apparently, lots of people search the web for items that contain the word “Sex” – either google, yahoo, msn, however you search….Even wordpress blogs – people want to know about sex. Are they looking for a how-to blog? Or do they want to know about your deepest, darkest desires and abnormalities?
I’d like to know about the weirdness. For some reason I am intrigued by people’s strange little quirks. What is it you like to do that’s all kinds of freaky-deaky and you wouldn’t tell a soul about? Funny enough, you can create a false name and comment here if you’d like. I think that’s the reason this word is so often searched – I’m not the only person in the world who likes to see other peoples’ kink. I’ll be honest about it – I don’t mind checking out some horribly scripted movies that involve a lot of skin from time to time. I don’t use that as a means to pass my time in general, but it does hold a certain interest for me. Yes, it objectifies women and yes, it plays into the culture of women having no power – I get that. I’m really not a feminist though, and I enjoy a good time just as much as the next girl. Not the Girls Gone Wild girls – not so much, but the average, American girl who likes to get raunchy from time to time – that kind of good time…hehehe.
If you believe that’s a bad thing, I’m sorry you’re not in touch with your inner raunch, and I honestly hope you begin to accept your body and other bodies as a part of nature and that you learn to enjoy it as much as possible before it’s either burnt into oblivion or rotting in a deep hole with bugs feasting on its every nutrient. Seriously. Have some fun.
Heck, if you’re married, that’s even better – have your partner take part in the fun. Get some toys or some fluid-like substance to enhance the fun times. Buy some books. Buy some DVDs. Consult a professional. Okay – not sure I’d do that one, but learning your husband’s/wife’s body is just as important in a marriage as learning their mind. Plus it’s just good exercise. You can sweat without leaving the comfort of your own bed. Gotta love that. Try out a few different positions. Missionary gets old, and that whole roll over and jump on top thing gets tired too – reverse it and see what happens, throw the ol’ doggy into the mix… whatever you do – have some fun, don’t take it too seriously, and don’t be afraid to laugh (as long as you’re not being personal).
That being said, google away – sex, sex, sex…. be careful though – those darn pop ups can be a pain…..
Another little ditty from www.graphjam.com…. If you love music, there are some great charts.
Love & Sex
Hmmm…. recurring phenomenon throughout America?
I found this secret on Postsecret.com and it struck a chord with me, particularly because I am familiar with a number of people who initiate sex in an effort to find love. I believe this happens more often than not anymore, with all the phone hookup lines, the web-based dating, and sex-sites that have popped up over the last ten or more years.
The lines have blurred. On television, we tell our children it’s okay to go out and party it up and take home a random stray, and possibly start a relationship based on that. We hammer into their heads that a hookup is cool through the music they listen to and the images we give them in magazines, television, internet, and any other media outlet you can imagine.
I’m not above all this. I’ve met individuals on the computer before and I’ve made friends with some of them. They may know intimate details of my life without ever having laid eyes on me. Do I give them my social security number and home address? No, but I have had conversations with them, which could or could not have lead to any other kinds of interactions. Scary thought, isn’t it? This is the world our children are growing up with. There are dangers very different than what we were exposed to as children growing up in the ’80s and ’90s.
The idea of love and a happy ever after is taught to us as children. In all the story books, there’s a princess and her prince, whisking her off to a wonderful life of grandeur and babies for ever and ever, the end. They are already receiving mixed signals. They see the family they are growing up with, which could include one or both parents, alcoholism, drug abuse, physical abuse, negativity, molestation, or any number of maladaptive behaviors, but we tell them that one day they, too, could live happily ever after.
No wonder they start off having sex and take it from there. No wonder most of us do the same thing. There are few role models who can show you that: 1- they never had sex before marriage, 2- this strategy still works, 3- the family can stay together through thick and thin. It’s just not a very good bet for young people today.
The confusion between sex and love is so widespread, you have to wonder if it’s truly a way of life any more. It is difficult to get to know people on an intimate level, and when you do, the sex invariably follows. Self-restraint is really not emphasized, though they do push abstinence in schools.
I guess all I can do is remember to give my daughter lots of hugs and kisses, and remind her that she doesn’t need to have sex with somebody to be considered a wonderful human being. She needs to honestly feel that for herself, though, and I can only hope to give her the tools with which to realize it. Hopefully I will have more power over that than the television and music videos.
